Sometimes we have to do things in life that really suck. The past 2 weeks was one of those for me. My time was spent going through all my mother's possession's. Making the decision what should be kept and what will go in the estate sale. I have been putting this off since January, when I placed her in assisted living. Her home, my childhood home has been sitting there waiting for me. I felt guilty going through all her belongs, glimpsing at letter and cards she had kept. Sorting through photos. Some of people I had no idea who they were. Making piles of items to give to family and friends. For as long as I can remember my mother kept a journal. I had no idea that after my dad died, 17 years ago, she was writing letters to him every night. I only read parts of a couple of them, but enough to figure out what she was doing. I wept. I felt like I was invading her personal space. I may regret this later but I threw them out. She was a very private person and would have never wanted me or anyone else to see them.
I have brought home quilts that she she had made, old books, glass ware,old linens,antiques. I wish I could have brought more. But at one point I just had to detach from everything,or I would have been renting a semi to haul it all back. Not to mention a warehouse to store it all. My little house is bursting at the seams as it is.
Not only did I sort through everything. I also had the task of getting her house ready to go on the market. Crummy time to sell a house, but I don't want to be a landlord 500 miles away. My husband and kids were with me. They were a huge help. Stripping layers of wallpaper, painting, yard work and general cleaning. The estate sale is the weekend of July 26. I will not be there. I do not want to see the people that will be pawing through her beloved treasures. It was very hard for me to leave the house knowing that it would be the last time I slept there. 46 years she has been in that house. The sad part is, her mind has slipped so far back that she thinks it is her childhood house. She didn't know who my kids were. My heart ached, but they were so sweet with her and started telling her stories and brought out pictures of when they were little. Then she finally remembered.
Sometimes life just sucks.